Its rather a morose feeling, that feeling you get when you know your about to die. when your lying there in that pool of blood, hanging off the 3 inch sidewalk with holes in your chest, while everybody is watching as you stare at the world as a whole. realizing that no one will care 3 years from now. remembering all those feelings and memories that kept you going for all those years. those people you cared for and "loved". you gave it all to them. and got nothing in return. but thats ok because you didn't expect anything back. you recall your parents. the drunk dispondant mother that didn't even remember your name. the work absorbed father who only remembers the bad times and when your grounded. your family, the ones you let down because you weren't gullible enough to believe that fat bastard at the podium reading that big book of lies. you remember the times when you were hurt and sick, and no one was there to help you. or, they were there, but they wouldn't help you.
Lying there, if those people around you are crying or laughing. because you cant hear their voices clearly due to the fact that the siren is blasting in your year. watching the last glimpse of the friend who betrayed you stands there in tears saying "oh lord please forgive me" and all you can think is, "why the fuck is he saying that". you look down the street to see the man who stole your pain. running into the beautiful moonlight. that dark cover that was your only place of peace since you were a child. and the last words that meet your mouth.

"thank you"